2010 Twins Headlines

1 Jan

also available at www.SethSpeaks.net

First of all, Happy New Year to everyone!! I hope you had a great 2009, and hopefully we can have a better 2010. As I mentioned on both Twitter and Facebook last night, I would like to thank ESPN’s Chris Berman for making me realize that I have now lived in five decades… it made me feel old, so I went to bed at 11:59, just because!

And I had a crazy dream. It was a dream which helps better illustrate to the masses just how pathetic I really am. So, I was at Twins Fest, but instead of it being at Metrodome, it was at some big hotel/convention center. It was a huge facility. I had a hotel room, which I apparently shared with the Will Smith/Jada Pinkett family. In the morning, I woke up and walked all around this convention center, but I couldn’t find the minor league area. I was getting quite frustrated. I would go back out into the hall way only to find more halls and conventions. I found the main lobby and a big sign with arrows pointing me in the right direction. On the sign, it said that Jeff Manship would not be signing on that Sunday. It said also that Oswaldo Sosa would not be able to sign on Sunday either. That was interesting to me because as far as I know, he is still a minor league free agent. So, it was a little weird. And then the third person that would be unable to sign was not able to make it on Friday night. It took me awhile to read the name as it was not one I knew from the Twins… It was spelled. N-O-L-A-S-C-O. What?? The Twins had made a trade for Ricky Nolasco from the Marlins? Who did they trade? When did this happen? How could I find out? Well, I had left my phone in my hotel room, so I had to go back to find it which, of course, was a another maze of halls and corridors. Finally, I realized it was, in fact, in my pocket. So, I called people I thought would know, but every time I dialed, I got a wrong number. I was able to surf to MLB Trade Rumors, but there was nothing there. And then I woke up.

I know what you’re thinking… Seth needs a break! You’d probably be right! But that leads me into my blog posting for today. As I did a year ago, I thought it would be fun to post some 2010 Twins Headlines. Some can be serious. Some can be fun. Hopefully you will find some of them interesting. My hope is that you will fill the Comments section with 2010 Twins Headlines of your own.

With that excessive introduction, here are my projected 2010 Minnesota Twins headlines:

Five Years Later, Twins M&M Boys Top the ’60s Yankees Version

Twins Sign Top Prospect Ever From Antarctica

After Finishing 2nd Five Times, Gardy Wins AL Manager of the Year

Valencia Vaults Twins Past Yankees, Into World Series

3.2 Million Pack Target Field in Inaugural Season

Like Vikings, Eight Twins Named All-Stars in 2010

Revere Rides Into Town, Announced “We’re Coming…”

Alright, given more time, I could probably come up with more, but I definitely want to encourage your headlines. Be Creative. Have fun! Please comment here.

Happy New Year to everyone… The NFL “Expert” Picks will be posted later today, so be sure to check back for that.


20 Responses to “2010 Twins Headlines”

  1. Jeffrey Hoffman January 1, 2010 at 12:28 pm #

    Slowey first Twins 20 game winner since Johan

    Thanks a lot for the work you do on this site.

    • morine February 11, 2010 at 11:11 am #

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  2. Kris January 1, 2010 at 12:42 pm #

    Punto breaks wrist sliding into first

    • Kunza January 1, 2010 at 2:58 pm #

      Holy crap that is the funniest thing I have ever read on this site!!!!!!!!!!

  3. Don Stevens January 1, 2010 at 12:55 pm #

    Delmon Regains His Magic: .313; 23HR; 92RBI’s

    • Kunza January 1, 2010 at 2:58 pm #

      Wait,that is THE FUNNIEST thing I have ever read on this site!!!!!!!

  4. Joel Thingvall January 1, 2010 at 2:56 pm #

    Snow and 10-below Windchill Twins Opening Day!

  5. Kunza January 1, 2010 at 3:05 pm #

    In all seriousness…. God I hope Don is correct!

    My 2010 Headlines….

    1. Punto hits .244 this year -gets another 2 year contract extension for 4-5 million per year (Gardenhire grins)

    2. Jason Kubel hits 35 home runs and drives in 100+

    3. Francisco Liriano is unnecessarily traded away for nothing and “finds” a portion of his old self with new team

    4. Michael Cuddyer misses 40-75 games due to injury

    5. Alexi Casilla is the Twins breakout player of the year

    6. Matt Gurrier has a 5+ ERA again

    7. Jesse Crain’s fastball is still as straight as a 2×4

    8. Twins win the division

    9. Twins set attendance record

    10. Mauer enters the 2010 offseason without a contract heading to free agency

    • Don Stevens January 1, 2010 at 6:13 pm #

      This sounds like it could very well happen!

  6. Michael January 1, 2010 at 3:10 pm #

    Thanks for the great entertainment in 09 as well as the information. I definitely look forward to reading your site each morning and find myself a tad disappointed when “life” interferes. I hope for a great 2010 as I await for the headlines, “Mauer signs extension”.

  7. Don Stevens January 1, 2010 at 6:16 pm #

    Thanks Seth, for all the work you do to feed our malnourished minds. Looking forward to your info during the coming “dogdays” ahead.

  8. Topper January 1, 2010 at 10:09 pm #

    Wow, Revere in 2010 would be interesting, that’d be great Seth!

    How about:

    – Gibson tears through minors faster than Garza
    – Yankee Dome dominance fails them at Target Field: Twins sweep
    – Ozzie: “How do these Piranhas thrive in the cold?”
    – 7″ snow fall delays Game 7 of Target Field World Series

  9. Rick January 1, 2010 at 11:37 pm #

    Neshek has great comeback year.

    Morneau tears it up in September

    Steve Singleton called up, hits .285

    Deolis Guerra making Santana trade look good.

    Denard Span makes 1st All-Star game.

    Twins to face ex-Twin Phil Humber in KC to clinch division

  10. Patrick January 2, 2010 at 1:13 am #

    Brian Duensing wins the Cy Young award by going 24-8 with a 1.82 ERA after Gardy switches to a 4 man rotation.

  11. roger January 2, 2010 at 7:04 am #

    Hey Seth, Happy New Year! Creative post today. As for your dream, sharing a hotel room with Jada Smith I can understand…but Will and the family?

  12. Don Stevens January 2, 2010 at 9:52 am #

    I like this one very much: “Newly signed flamethrower A. Chapman beats phenoms Sano and Keplar to parent Twins in pennant race”

  13. DH in Philly January 2, 2010 at 10:03 am #

    Michael Cuddyer hits 35 home runs and drives in 100+

    Jason Kubel misses 40-75 games due to injury

  14. mike January 2, 2010 at 10:23 am #

    Twins Acquire Roy Oswalt at Deadline, Giving Up Delmon Young and Francisco Liriano – Ben Revere Takes Over LF, Bats Second Behind Span – Twins Race to World Series Victory Behind Span and Revere – Michael Cuddyer Wins MVP After .275, 40HR, 135 RBI season – Gardy Finishes Second In Manager of the Year Award Again!

  15. Gil4 January 3, 2010 at 9:04 am #

    “I have now lived in five decades”

    1st decade: 1 thru (end of) 10
    2nd: 11 thru 20
    3rd: 21 – 30

    198th: 1971-1980 (your 1st)
    199th: 1981-1990 (2nd)
    200th: 1991-2000 (3rd)
    201st: 2001 thru (end of) 2010 (4th)
    202nd: 2011-2020 (5th)

    You still have some work to do to get to that 5th decade.

    I bet you knew that and have an office pool based on how long it would take for one of your anal readers to react to it.

    • josh k January 3, 2010 at 10:37 am #

      so what you are saying is that 1990 is should be considered part of the 80’s?

      although technically you are correct, everyone goes by the thought that a “0” year is the start of a new decade.

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